how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
