Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
