I am puke
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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