Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
