you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
