We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Drunk is a universal language darling
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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