If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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