I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
