We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
