u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
