I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I am available for nakedness
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
