I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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