I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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