well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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