Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
