I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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