I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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