do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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