areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
