Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
