my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
