Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
