Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
