What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
