Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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