naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
