Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
