the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
