We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
