I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Are we still banned from the library?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
