Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
