I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
