You work out of a Hotel?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
