I will die if light touches me.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
