Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
