Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
