awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
