mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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