I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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