So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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