dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
