the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
