Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
