haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
