my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
