she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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