i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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