wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
