You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
