Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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